i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
