So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
People in love make me want to vomit
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
