I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it because I queefed?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
