ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
