i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
