we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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