Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
