Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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