just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
