We're facebook friends in real life
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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