At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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