you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
