Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
