I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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