I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize