My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize