So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
