I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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