i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
