Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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