don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
