I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
