And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
