we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
