you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
