i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
