p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
