Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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