Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
bring money and cleavage
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
