Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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