is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
