Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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