is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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