The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
