CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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