I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
