This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my being single is dangerous.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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