STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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