I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
