Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
