it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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