guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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