My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
