I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize