Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
did i just pee glitter
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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