I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
