i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i now understand why vodka
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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