yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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