He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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