I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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