the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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