GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
