maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize