Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
