The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize