I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
