The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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