I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize