the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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