Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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