I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
