also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
