How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
