Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
