I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
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